[Vanessa's scroll is dropped off by a large raven that taps insistently on her window with its beak until the window is opened. It follows her until she finds the small scroll it held in its clawed foot. It is a small, tattered piece of paper tied in a roll with a thin black piece of cloth. To anyone but her the scroll appears as nothing but a blank scrap of paper, but for her eyes alone runes appear scrawled in a delicate script across it.
As she looks at the scroll the ink seems to bleed and shift until she can read the words perfectly.
Your weapon is dull and lacking a tale, acquired simply - unworthy of name. A new one must be forged in betrayal, from another's hands you must stake your claim.
As she reads the last word, her vision swims and three faint notes play in the distance. She will be cursed until she completes her quest.]
[ sometime this week, when vanessa is out and about, a small bird with long skinny legs flaps hurriedly down nearby. once it has their attention, its long skinny beak opens and words come pouring out! real actual words which don't sound bird voicey at all. in fact, it sounds like a familiar weird redhead they might know: ]
"Hi Vanessa! So I'm throwing a brunch in the orchard this Friday morning around elevenish and I'd love you to come! Please bring anything you--"
[ whoops, maybe there was more to the message? either way, the bird takes off again to fly out toward the horizon and back to its home island in the distance. feel free to interpret that unfinished request however you might, brunch buddy! ]
Vanessa? It's Charles. Charles Xavier. With everything that's been happening lately, I just thought I'd check in. I hope you're all right. If you're available later we can meet for a drink?
( it's several days before vanessa contacts him back, having seen both bodhi and ren during that time, the two men staying with her, talking to her, and giving her something back.
it's a routine, something to get her up in the morning, give her an objective to start the day. check for messages, check in. today she makes the decision to reply to charles.
her words are carefully considered, an effort to keep her voice level, to not betray how she really feels. fake it til you make it )
Mr Xavier, it's wonderful to hear from you. I'm afraid the tea isn't of particular note but I'd be happy to share a cup.
( the suggestion gives her pause, being in such a crowded place, but then the idea that they'll go somewhere quiet, back to the observation deck calms her a little. quiet vanessa could do and she would persevere with the crowd for this opportunity )
That sounds like a pleasant afternoon. I would like that.
( the tiniest hint of lightness floats back into her words, as short lasting as it is )
I shall see you presently.
( and with that vanessa turns the device back off again, making certain that her hair is still properly affixed before making her way to said canteen )
( Thankfully there's just a few people in the mess hall and none of them are engaging in fisticuffs. That doesn't mean Charles is planning on staying. He doesn't like the more communal spaces at the best of times, he's been struggling to get used to them. He prefers his bed or the observation deck.
He really is becoming a hermit. Raven was right.
When Vanessa arrives, he's still frowning at the replicators. Tea has been procured, or at least something close to tea. He hasn't even spiked his own cup which is a miracle. )
( vanessa isn't looking that well. better than she had a few days previously, though her make up is also helping restore some of her mask, but she looks a little paler, more haunted than before. she appreciates the kindness, taking the cup from him with a small nod )
As do you.
( he will always look dashing. with cups both in hand vanessa takes a step back towards the door )
( Because after recent events he's still lying low. Vanessa is probably the only one he currently feels safe around. Erik might make him incandescent with rage or sick with guilt, and Hank will certainly know he's in a funny mood.
The observation deck is at least the most peaceful part of the station. And so he falls into step beside her, his hands wrapped around his tea as they quietly make their way from the hum of people. Charles waits even until they're situated in a place where they can sit and watch the stars before he speaks, glancing at Vanessa over his cup before letting out a long breath. )
Well, that was a bit of a catastrophe, yes? ( He means the week before. ) Are you all right? Have you been okay?
( she's happy to let the silence fall between them as they walk, the tea balanced expertly in her hands. she'd more careful when she sits this time compared to before, this time having to manage her dress.
vanessa starts to look out at the stars, her cup sat next to her. there are a few seconds of silence, vanessa's head dipping before she forces it back up, making sure to keep her gaze on him )
I haven't been.
( it's hard being honest but there isn't any sense in lying. charles is a friend and it's only because of her friends that vanessa has even made it out of her room at all since that last week )
But I will get there. ( bodhi's trying to get her to find something to focus her attention on, something to fight for. for now this conversation is a nice distraction and charles was a wonderful conversationalist ) I hope that you had a less trying time.
( most that she'd encountered during the week had had very trying times )
If I could go back in time and shove myself in a closet for the entirety of those days, I think I just might.
( He says it easily, trying not to sound too disheartened. The mistakes he made during the week try to snag at his thoughts but Charles has spent ten years putting certain people out of his mind and he won't be beat now.
He just wishes he could do something to help the woman beside him. Frustration wells, he feels so powerless. And isn't that a kick in the teeth? ) I'm glad you answered. I'm glad you're here.
( Another sip of his tea, gaze soft and thoughtful where it rests upon her. ) If only because you're brightening my day with such a lovely dress. I feel like I'm putting us to shame.
( vanessa is also starting to feel glad that she answered. this man had so easily brightened her day before and though the effect isn't quite so instantaneous this time, they've both been affected by something, she feels some of that same pleasure again now )
Nonsense. ( you may only have a jumpsuit, as she previously had, but it didn't make the man. he was too wonderful regardless ) I discovered it in my room after the music had stopped. A token from home, I suppose. Many people seem to be discovering such things.
( His eyebrow lifts slightly at that. He thinks of the serum. )
Ah yes, Hank and I found something from home too. I confess I was a bit unnerved to know they're able to do that, but the relief far outweighed my suspicions.
( He likes being able to walk. Which brings him back to the fact he's running out. )
( vanessa shares the sentiment. though she'd tried not to think too much about how it had happened, assuming that the items had been brought in the same way that they had been. it was strange though, somewhat unsettling, particularly when the items weren't just how they'd been left )
I couldn't say. ( if only she did know. it was a strange thing ) I have discovered things of mine twice now. Once in my room and once in the mess hall. I can only guess at whether more items will arrive.
[ it's been a day or so since the music ended and things slowly began to return to some semblance of normality, or what counted that. Bodhi has still slept only a little, and has focused on trying to help with cleaning up the ship.
so it's early on the second morning does he finally try to get into contact - allowing time for rest and sleep.. ]
Vanessa, hi. It's Bodhi. I wanted to see how you were doing, and was wondering if you were up for going to have a drink later on?
[ when, after a few hours, he hasn't yet heard back from Vanessa, he's a little worried. it's easy to jump to the worst possible conclusion and even easier given the way things have been of late. so, that's why not long after, he's retraced his steps to the room he'd met with her a few weeks before and knocks. ]
( maybe vanessa had noticed his message, not checking it, leaving it sat unread. maybe vanessa had been considering doing the same again when he'd knocked on the door. her roommate hadn't been by in days and with the music, the sleeplessness and encountering lucifer--
she'd slipped into herself, into the depression that she'd been barely holding at bay. vanessa had finally slept a little after the music had stopped but there was no purpose, no reason to get back out of her bed.
vanessa would have ignored his call at the door has his knocking not felt insistent. not hearing an answer immediately bodhi had knocked again. it, along with the care and concern that she could note in his voice, had been enough of a push to get her up, to walk her over to the door.
her steps are slow, heavier with how sedentary she has been. when the door opens vanessa looks, for a lack of a better descriptor, a mess. her hair hasn't been brushed in days and she has definitely been sleeping in the jumpsuit that she's wearing. vanessa doesn't say anything, simply looking at him. sad. lost. alone )
[ Bodhi waits, and feels a small sense of relief when the door is at last opened, but it's short lived when he sees Vanessa in person. Looking tired and haunted, even days past. His brows knit in concern, he stays at the door, eyes flicking from her hair to face, searching.
Meanwhile, his eyes are much clearer than she might've last seen from him, and the bags under his eyes are more their usual standard "I haven't slept more than three hours" fare.
His words falter a little. ]
Hey. I'm -- sorry if I'm disturbing you. [ he was worried, still is. ] Are you alright?
( vanessa isn't certain how to handle him. this kind man who barely knew her checking on her, caring for her wellbeing. she doesn't react, not immediately, though as she thinks, trying to find an answer for that question that she's come to hate, bodhi may notice a slew of emotions in her expression.
seconds pass and then, what make feel like finally, vanessa shakes her head. the movement is small, the first admittance, the first 'verbalisation' of how she feels.
vanessa takes a small step backwards, a silent invitation for him to come in )
[ he nods, understanding, the simple action is an answer enough for him. and for a minute, Bodhi isn't sure if it will go any further than that - he half expects the door to be closed on him, but she steps aside to allow him in - which he does. looking around at the same basic layout of his own room before turning back to Vanessa, uncertain.
if she's not in the mood for talking, he can do enough for the both of them. ]
I um, wasn't sure if I should bother - that's why I decided to come today rather than yesterday. Figured you might be taking advantage of the silence to get some rest.
[ he fidgets with the cuff of his jumpsuit, raising his eyes to meet hers. ]
( vanessa leads him into the seating area, pulling her legs up and holding them close to her once she's in a chair. she watches him as he walks into the room, where he moves, focusing even as he sits.
when his gaze meets hers vanessa dips her head, watching his hands instead. though she'd watched him she finds that same action a little difficult, almost feeling ashamed.
finally she speaks. her voice sounds rougher than usual, her words whispered. they're the first sounds that vanessa has made in days )
I find sleep difficult.
( though she always has, having her dreams often haunted or her mind with some worry or fear. that initial difficulty had increased with the music and continued with her current thoughts )
[ he sits, and watches her for a moment. seeing the struggle there. Bodhi swallows, feeling a pang as she speaks at last. she'd been hurting before, when she found him on the deck the other day and let him cry on her shoulder.
maybe he should have checked by a day earlier. leaning forward, he takes her hands in his own. ]
( she flinches almost at the contact. it's unexpected, and whilst ordinarily it wouldn't be unwanted she just doesn't know how to respond to it now.
so she keeps still, trying to relax in his presence, hoping that the contact will provide some strength or ground. something solid.
her eyes fall shut, a final barrier to the tears that threaten to fall. she hasn't cried since the day she'd seen bodhi last, since before shutting herself away, her being instead feeling numb to her emotions.
closing her eyes doesn't stop the tears. it wasn't okay. she didn't feel okay )
[ at her reaction, Bodhi nearly pulls away - not trying to make her uncomfortable. physical contact is still somewhat new to him, even more so initiating it, as evidenced by his hesitance. but more so he wants to relay some of the same comfort Vanessa had given him when he'd been nearly catatonic with his guilt.
leaning forward further, for the second time since arriving on the station, he lets go of her hands to wrap his arms around her in a hug. ]
( it's a little awkward with how she is sat but vanessa sees the sentiment, tucking her head onto his shoulder.
she stays like this for a while, tears quietly falling. when vanessa finally speaks she lifts her head slightly, moving just so he can hear her whisper )
[ he remains quiet, a hand on her back, letting her stay like that as long as she needs. when she finally looks up, he gives her a slight nod. though he is not entirely sure of what she means by that, he gets her pain over such a thing. ]
( vanessa leans back from his touch, careful to avoid his gaze. there is so much that she's never told him, both of them dancing around the stories of their lives. can she make him understand now with so little known? does it matter? )
There are things that I've seen. ( mostly at home but being here has added to her doubts also, her beliefs. it didn't help that some of those experiences had followed her here )
( vanessa wants to feel comforted by that but, as much as she knows that he has experienced terrible things, that he has his own doubts, it isn't enough to raise her spirits. their experiences aren't the same )
And where am I to find peace? Am I simply continue as this?
I realize where we are and everything that's happened, it might seem like you want to give up and give into it, because what can you do? [ he's hardly Jyn, with her perchance for impassioned speeches - when he's more quiet and soft spoken, but maybe he feels strongly enough about this.
he has so little for him here, Vanessa is his friend, and she's hurting. he just wants to get through to her. ] But you're not alone, you don't need to shut yourself away to deal with it on your own.
You don't have to. [ he repeats, trying to meet her eyes ] We need as many people as we can, to help us -- [ Bodhi backtracks slightly, as he realizes what he said ] you all get out of here. If you have to find something to keep yourself fighting here, it seems like a good cause.
Edited (and and and stop using and every other word!!! ) 2018-07-28 23:23 (UTC)
( and there's the conflict. vanessa feels that she is better alone, or at least that's what she tries to tell herself. she has hurt and wronged so many people, others have been in danger simply by trying to help her. vanessa feels the guilt from her actions, refusing to be absolved. it makes her feel alone. how could anyone empathise with such a life -- such a person?
but then there's bodhi, a little shining light trying to break through her darkness. she'd enjoyed his company, found happiness in their friendship, in the friendships of all that she'd made here. they'd helped stave that darkness off for so long.
his words do strike something in her. although vanessa doesn't know what she'd be returning home to (nothing. loneliness. guilt) it had always still seemed better than remaining here. it was home. it was familiar, there were people that vanessa loved--
when bodhi catches her eyes she doesn't pull away, offering a small, if sad smile. he was such a good man, such a kind heart, trying to persevere through when all she'd done was pull away )
I-- ( vanessa falters. she's not quite sure what to say, what she wants. seconds pass before she tries again, hushed words, voice fighting against her tears ) I'll need your help-- if you'll permiss it.
( to keep going, to not fall back. perhaps eventually to learn more of this place so that vanessa can feel that she has a use )
[ Bodhi watches her, remains silent as conflict crosses her expression. he's not gonna try and push her if that's something she doesn't want to do, but - he also obviously does want Vanessa to agree with it. she has talents and abilities that could be of use in all of... this.
he's doing the same, right now. finding something to do, to help, to fight - it's not as if he has much else going for him. all that's waiting for him is death. if he can do something, to make this place more bearable for himself, and those similarly trapped, then he'll try. even though there are so many people here, so much better suited to do so than himself.
when she responds, Bodhi gives her hands a squeeze and a smile. ]
( her smile lingers and she is grateful to him, more grateful than vanessa believes she could ever express in words.
she gives him a nod, a pitiful attempt at thanks, and slides her hands out from his. instead, she leans closer, resting her head against his shoulder. once settled then she takes his hand again, covering it with both of hers.
you are a good man, bodhi rook, and a very dear friend )
[ so apparently he's arrived on board the terminal while some weird plague is going on. sure, okay. tetora can manage. time to contact every single person on his deck, why the hell not. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Delivery
As she looks at the scroll the ink seems to bleed and shift until she can read the words perfectly.
Your weapon is dull and lacking a tale,
acquired simply - unworthy of name.
A new one must be forged in betrayal,
from another's hands you must stake your claim.
As she reads the last word, her vision swims and three faint notes play in the distance. She will be cursed until she completes her quest.]
you DONUT want to miss this brunch!
"Hi Vanessa! So I'm throwing a brunch in the orchard this Friday morning around elevenish and I'd love you to come! Please bring anything you--"
[ whoops, maybe there was more to the message? either way, the bird takes off again to fly out toward the horizon and back to its home island in the distance. feel free to interpret that unfinished request however you might, brunch buddy! ]
voicemail |
Vanessa? It's Charles. Charles Xavier. With everything that's been happening lately, I just thought I'd check in. I hope you're all right. If you're available later we can meet for a drink?
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it's a routine, something to get her up in the morning, give her an objective to start the day. check for messages, check in. today she makes the decision to reply to charles.
her words are carefully considered, an effort to keep her voice level, to not betray how she really feels. fake it til you make it )
Mr Xavier, it's wonderful to hear from you. I'm afraid the tea isn't of particular note but I'd be happy to share a cup.
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Splendid. How about we meet in the canteen, and then we can take our cups somewhere more quiet. Maybe we can see if there's any change in our view.
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That sounds like a pleasant afternoon. I would like that.
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( Being glib in the face of terror. It's an excellent coping method. )
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( the tiniest hint of lightness floats back into her words, as short lasting as it is )
I shall see you presently.
( and with that vanessa turns the device back off again, making certain that her hair is still properly affixed before making her way to said canteen )
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He really is becoming a hermit. Raven was right.
When Vanessa arrives, he's still frowning at the replicators. Tea has been procured, or at least something close to tea. He hasn't even spiked his own cup which is a miracle. )
Hello.
( Holding a cup out to her. )
You're looking well.
( Whether or not she is, he'd still say it. )
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As do you.
( he will always look dashing. with cups both in hand vanessa takes a step back towards the door )
Perhaps the observation deck will serve?
( its become a favourite of hers, too )
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( Because after recent events he's still lying low. Vanessa is probably the only one he currently feels safe around. Erik might make him incandescent with rage or sick with guilt, and Hank will certainly know he's in a funny mood.
The observation deck is at least the most peaceful part of the station. And so he falls into step beside her, his hands wrapped around his tea as they quietly make their way from the hum of people. Charles waits even until they're situated in a place where they can sit and watch the stars before he speaks, glancing at Vanessa over his cup before letting out a long breath. )
Well, that was a bit of a catastrophe, yes? ( He means the week before. ) Are you all right? Have you been okay?
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vanessa starts to look out at the stars, her cup sat next to her. there are a few seconds of silence, vanessa's head dipping before she forces it back up, making sure to keep her gaze on him )
I haven't been.
( it's hard being honest but there isn't any sense in lying. charles is a friend and it's only because of her friends that vanessa has even made it out of her room at all since that last week )
But I will get there. ( bodhi's trying to get her to find something to focus her attention on, something to fight for. for now this conversation is a nice distraction and charles was a wonderful conversationalist ) I hope that you had a less trying time.
( most that she'd encountered during the week had had very trying times )
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( He says it easily, trying not to sound too disheartened. The mistakes he made during the week try to snag at his thoughts but Charles has spent ten years putting certain people out of his mind and he won't be beat now.
He just wishes he could do something to help the woman beside him. Frustration wells, he feels so powerless. And isn't that a kick in the teeth? ) I'm glad you answered. I'm glad you're here.
( Another sip of his tea, gaze soft and thoughtful where it rests upon her. ) If only because you're brightening my day with such a lovely dress. I feel like I'm putting us to shame.
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Nonsense. ( you may only have a jumpsuit, as she previously had, but it didn't make the man. he was too wonderful regardless ) I discovered it in my room after the music had stopped. A token from home, I suppose. Many people seem to be discovering such things.
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Ah yes, Hank and I found something from home too. I confess I was a bit unnerved to know they're able to do that, but the relief far outweighed my suspicions.
( He likes being able to walk. Which brings him back to the fact he's running out. )
Do they do it often, do you know? Is it random?
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I couldn't say. ( if only she did know. it was a strange thing ) I have discovered things of mine twice now. Once in my room and once in the mess hall. I can only guess at whether more items will arrive.
7/10-ish - audio
so it's early on the second morning does he finally try to get into contact - allowing time for rest and sleep.. ]
Vanessa, hi. It's Bodhi. I wanted to see how you were doing, and was wondering if you were up for going to have a drink later on?
-> action?
Vanessa? Are you in?
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she'd slipped into herself, into the depression that she'd been barely holding at bay. vanessa had finally slept a little after the music had stopped but there was no purpose, no reason to get back out of her bed.
vanessa would have ignored his call at the door has his knocking not felt insistent. not hearing an answer immediately bodhi had knocked again. it, along with the care and concern that she could note in his voice, had been enough of a push to get her up, to walk her over to the door.
her steps are slow, heavier with how sedentary she has been. when the door opens vanessa looks, for a lack of a better descriptor, a mess. her hair hasn't been brushed in days and she has definitely been sleeping in the jumpsuit that she's wearing. vanessa doesn't say anything, simply looking at him. sad. lost. alone )
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Meanwhile, his eyes are much clearer than she might've last seen from him, and the bags under his eyes are more their usual standard "I haven't slept more than three hours" fare.
His words falter a little. ]
Hey. I'm -- sorry if I'm disturbing you. [ he was worried, still is. ] Are you alright?
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seconds pass and then, what make feel like finally, vanessa shakes her head. the movement is small, the first admittance, the first 'verbalisation' of how she feels.
vanessa takes a small step backwards, a silent invitation for him to come in )
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if she's not in the mood for talking, he can do enough for the both of them. ]
I um, wasn't sure if I should bother - that's why I decided to come today rather than yesterday. Figured you might be taking advantage of the silence to get some rest.
[ he fidgets with the cuff of his jumpsuit, raising his eyes to meet hers. ]
Is it because of what happened, that you haven't?
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when his gaze meets hers vanessa dips her head, watching his hands instead. though she'd watched him she finds that same action a little difficult, almost feeling ashamed.
finally she speaks. her voice sounds rougher than usual, her words whispered. they're the first sounds that vanessa has made in days )
I find sleep difficult.
( though she always has, having her dreams often haunted or her mind with some worry or fear. that initial difficulty had increased with the music and continued with her current thoughts )
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maybe he should have checked by a day earlier. leaning forward, he takes her hands in his own. ]
Hey. It's okay.
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so she keeps still, trying to relax in his presence, hoping that the contact will provide some strength or ground. something solid.
her eyes fall shut, a final barrier to the tears that threaten to fall. she hasn't cried since the day she'd seen bodhi last, since before shutting herself away, her being instead feeling numb to her emotions.
closing her eyes doesn't stop the tears. it wasn't okay. she didn't feel okay )
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leaning forward further, for the second time since arriving on the station, he lets go of her hands to wrap his arms around her in a hug. ]
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she stays like this for a while, tears quietly falling. when vanessa finally speaks she lifts her head slightly, moving just so he can hear her whisper )
I don't know what to believe anymore.
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Why is that? [ he presses, gently. ]
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There are things that I've seen. ( mostly at home but being here has added to her doubts also, her beliefs. it didn't help that some of those experiences had followed her here )
Am I simply mad? Would that be easier?
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they say the consequence is to lose one's mind... ]
I think.. if having seen things makes one mad, then you're in good company.
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And where am I to find peace? Am I simply continue as this?
( haunted. mad )
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he has so little for him here, Vanessa is his friend, and she's hurting. he just wants to get through to her. ] But you're not alone, you don't need to shut yourself away to deal with it on your own.
You don't have to. [ he repeats, trying to meet her eyes ] We need as many people as we can, to help us -- [ Bodhi backtracks slightly, as he realizes what he said ] you all get out of here. If you have to find something to keep yourself fighting here, it seems like a good cause.
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but then there's bodhi, a little shining light trying to break through her darkness. she'd enjoyed his company, found happiness in their friendship, in the friendships of all that she'd made here. they'd helped stave that darkness off for so long.
his words do strike something in her. although vanessa doesn't know what she'd be returning home to (nothing. loneliness. guilt) it had always still seemed better than remaining here. it was home. it was familiar, there were people that vanessa loved--
when bodhi catches her eyes she doesn't pull away, offering a small, if sad smile. he was such a good man, such a kind heart, trying to persevere through when all she'd done was pull away )
I-- ( vanessa falters. she's not quite sure what to say, what she wants. seconds pass before she tries again, hushed words, voice fighting against her tears ) I'll need your help-- if you'll permiss it.
( to keep going, to not fall back. perhaps eventually to learn more of this place so that vanessa can feel that she has a use )
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he's doing the same, right now. finding something to do, to help, to fight - it's not as if he has much else going for him. all that's waiting for him is death. if he can do something, to make this place more bearable for himself, and those similarly trapped, then he'll try. even though there are so many people here, so much better suited to do so than himself.
when she responds, Bodhi gives her hands a squeeze and a smile. ]
Of course I'll help.
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she gives him a nod, a pitiful attempt at thanks, and slides her hands out from his. instead, she leans closer, resting her head against his shoulder. once settled then she takes his hand again, covering it with both of hers.
you are a good man, bodhi rook, and a very dear friend )
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hey, room 530. hello? i have a question.
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Who would be asking it?
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you got any drugs?
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Though finding where the medical lab is may be of more use to you.
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i kinda love it, but not everyone does.
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